The Orville Fic: Waiting For You To Love Me

[peppermintpuppet]

Title: Waiting For You To Love Me
Fandom: The Orville
Relationship: Alara Kitan/Solana Kitan
Warnings: Implied sibling incest
Rating: M
Wc: 503
Notes: set after Home.

Solana’s hair is golden underneath the light of Xeleyah. She is radiant. Alara has missed her. Oh, how Alara has missed her.

At night, years ago--before she joined Union Point, before they both left--she would visit Solana's bedroom door. Never allowing it to open, quieting her footsteps and her breath to the most inaudible frequencies, fainter than the thoughts in her mind as she listened to Solana breathe, exhale, inhale, moan. Alara thinks of it now as she sees her sister beam bright in the potential of her wedding gown, twirling around and feeling the fabric of its ends twirl with her, enveloping her in light sage. Sometimes Solana would invite her in at night, to help Alara with her academic work or read with her. She never judged Alara for her struggles, and Alara would melt underneath her hands as they brushed together, her touch just so comforting in the years before. She didn't really have Solana then--she belonged to her work--and she won't have Solana now; she's getting married. Alara will be left behind--she was always left behind. Always chasing, never following, never invited.

"What do you think?" Solana asks. "I think I've decided on this one, but I want my little sister's opinion first. You’re my maid of honor, of course.”

Alara copies Solana's noises from those nights, repeating them under a different context now, a resonating sound accompanied by a knowledge that is both similar and different and ultimately forbidden. She inhales, exhales, gives a soft little sad whimper.

"I like it," she replies. "Um, you know, the color's nice."

"Sure, but do I look good? I mean, what will Terlus think?"

Oh. Yeah. Him.

She's always hated Terlus. He's nice, but he ignores Solana too much in favor of his work. If Alara--

Oh. If Alara what? If she what? What could she possibly end that sentence with that doesn't sound depraved?

A thought exercise: she'll allow the words to flow out anyway. So she can analyze them, chew on them, and discard their carcasses. So she can get over this horrid feeling gnawing inside of her now.

"Alara?"

If Solana loved Alara, Alara would never ignore her. She spent so many years stuck in a perpetual cycle of yearning and resentment towards Solana, but Solana became hers again—just for a little while—and now Alara has to give her up once more. They rarely spoke while she was at Union Point and stationed on the Orville. Alara has her back now, and Alara loves her. If Solana loved her, Alara would give her everything. Solana’s love is all she ever wanted as a child; instead her family treated her like an aberration, and Solana was her only solace. Terlus is so, so foolish.

Alara loves her like a sister, of course. Nothing more. That would be wrong. But she truly, truly does look beautiful in the color, looks more than beautiful, looks like a galaxy wrapped in silk and a halo, and Alara cannot seem to control herself.

“If Terlus doesn’t think you look absolutely perfect,” she says, “he’s an idiot.”